LOST IDENTITY

-=| 2746 |=-

J



I stand in between both solstice; slashed, tortured, LOST.




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Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.

SCREAM



MY JOHARI WINDOW!



BLOGROLL

Galvin
Eldora
Elix
Gwendelyn
Iryani
Janice
Joel
Kian Guan
Pamela
Tee Ming
Zhi Xun
Sin Yan
Samantha
Jia Yun
Huey Min


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Don't probe into my past.


CREDITS

designer Dancing Sheep
resources   1   2   3




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Since 1 Oct 2007





Monday, February 7, 2011

I am Outstanding Serviceman of the Month!!
No, I'm not saying this in a boastful manner. In fact I think it's the funniest thing ever!? I'm so screwed and insecure now. Want to low profile also cannot.

If you didn't already know, currently my life's like hell. Every small thing matters. And every wrong step comes with a heavy heavy price. I try to avoid the devils and demons as much as I can all the time, just in case I have to put up a fight with them again and get scarred badly. So I'm trying to maintain my low profile still, and try not to talk to anyone if there is no need to.

I was wrong. As much as you try to be low profile, you stand out naturally. Because everyone else is so happy and jovial. People started noticing me. How irony. PC said I was awarded because I accumulated the most points out my entire team and got the highest votes among the specs. I was like ??????? because I..... I didn't do anything???? I'm not even close with the specs at all unlike the rest of the men because I think they can kill if they want to. And demonic PC always pick on me because I'm quiet. Ok that's how he got me there, because he always got me talking at every contingency drill and turnout debrief. I remembered challenging him on some pointers regarding the situations of the contingencies because I thought there were some discrepancies and faults that has to be solved, and I suppose he's pleased with my intelligence and performance. since the rest always kept quiet and wait to see me die! I talked too much.

He also commented that I was professional on duty and I was like hmmm ok lor I like never do anything leh in fact I always find ways to slack if not complain and complain and whine you must be blind or I'm a brilliant actor. I'm really guilty of getting the award because I think some others deserve it more than I do. Like the IRF team for Eagles, I think they are really hardworking and really putting in a lot of effort for the competition. Or like some other team members who are very up. Many think I'm up but I'm really not?? stop looking up to me, I'm so flattered LOL SERIOUSLY.

My team was happy for me. But I can tell that they don't really agree with it but just let it be. Everyone was astounded at the result. Because they think I'm too dumb and blur to be OSM, which I thought so too. Then they start teasing me hahaha.

Ok now quite high profile damn it. which means more eyes on you and more arrows coming your way. I just want to lead a peaceful life. I seriously don't want all these at all. It's putting my life in danger, more. They just want to see me die. :(



(12:08 AM);
I made my mark